Klingon Underpants

posted on March 30th, 2009, 2:14 am

Yeah, I thought the title would get your attention.

Before I start, please bear in mind that this is NOT to be taken seriously, it's just a bit of fun.

My thinking is this: A lot of threads in Star Trek discussion forums are a little boring, predictable, and/or contrived. Mostly concerning the scientific aspects of the Star Trek universe. But for me, more interesting discussion topics would be about just normal day-to-day life. Just for fun, to make things a little more surreal.

Now, thanks to Optec's comment on another thread, I had a thought. What would Klingon underpants be like?

As we know, Humans and Klingons are... "compatible"... so we can assume that the requirements are basically the same, so I'm thinking of a few questions:
- Would Klingons wear underpants? Even 17th century Brits thought of underpants as "wussyish", so maybe the Klingons would despise the idea? Yes/No?
- What would they be made of? These are Klingons we're talking about, everything should be a test of strength and honour, no matter how insignificant!

As I said before, just for a laugh. =P

posted on March 30th, 2009, 2:17 am

Ive always thought of Klingons as more like 15th century Cossacks and Scots (as far as behavior went).
Those 2 never warmed up to underpants. Doubt the klingons would either.

posted on March 30th, 2009, 3:24 am

Hmmm, Klingons don't seem to go for comfortable and they don't seem to really care about cleanliness....yet they do care about utilitarianism... so I'd go for some sort of sash to allow them faster movement with less worry for "accidental damage" 

posted on March 30th, 2009, 3:32 am

so I'd go for some sort of sash to allow them faster movement with less worry for "accidental damage"

LOL...../agree

posted on March 30th, 2009, 11:58 am

But don't the Klingons have multiple redundancies to protect against damage? Always useful to have two of something hey.

Well, since Klingons do not "soften their bodies" by laying down pad when they go to bed, it is reasonable to assume they do not soften their bodies in any other context either. 

posted on March 30th, 2009, 12:29 pm

This all beggs the question...

Boxers or briefs?...

posted on March 30th, 2009, 1:36 pm

Metal boxers?

posted on March 30th, 2009, 2:20 pm

if they did they would most likley have spikes on them.. 

posted on March 30th, 2009, 3:13 pm

Wow...hmm....if we're going with the whole metal clothing thing (AKA Andromeda), then I'd have to go with the whole chain mail look....ooh....that's a lot of pinching down under. Which then leads me to the next question, "Do they shave down under?" If they're going with metal underwear...I'm guessing that it'll pull some hairs...and that would hurt a lot. I know I'd hate the constant pulling effect...though...maybe they enjoy the pain? 

posted on March 30th, 2009, 3:21 pm

Wow...hmm....if we're going with the whole metal clothing thing (AKA Andromeda), then I'd have to go with the whole chain mail look....ooh....that's a lot of pinching down under. Which then leads me to the next question, "Do they shave down under?" If they're going with metal underwear...I'm guessing that it'll pull some hairs...and that would hurt a lot. I know I'd hate the constant pulling effect...though...maybe they enjoy the pain? 

We're talking about a race that stab each other (at their birthday party!) with multiple Pain sticks, one of which would probably fry a T-Rex!

posted on March 30th, 2009, 10:03 pm

Good point...so you think that they would enjoy all the pain down below? I would definitely cry 
I then have another question for the whole metal undewear idea...would it not be cold a lot of the time? I mean...think about metal, is it not usually cold to the touch? It's not neccessarily painful...but definitely discomforting when you first put it on.../shiver

posted on March 30th, 2009, 10:24 pm

Scene this is in the future, maybe they would be heated 

posted on March 30th, 2009, 10:35 pm

Naaa, metals are only cold because they generally have very low specific heats (thus it doesn't take much to heat them up, or to cool them down... unlike water, for instance). They are also bad insulators for these reasons too 

So if you are in the heat of battle, it wouldn't matter that much would it... though perspiring might become a problem (rusty metal =.... tetanus, sweet!)

posted on March 30th, 2009, 10:40 pm

Oww...I never considered rust...Maby they would be made of aluminum oxide.  It would be light, and wouldn't rust. 

posted on March 30th, 2009, 11:55 pm

I think a Klingon would answer all your questions with this statement; A warrior must endure all hardships. (or something to that effect).