The most hilarious thing on the Internet?
posted on February 22nd, 2008, 9:40 pm
Last edited by Triarii on February 23rd, 2008, 9:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
I'm serious! This isn't a screamer or some crappy You Tube video... it's... well... let me tell you the whole story... Some of you guys, being Trek fans, may have already seen this, but for those of you who haven't, picture the scene if you will...
Ok, one day, you're role-playing a Star Trek/Star Wars crossover with a bunch of your friends on the Internet and get it into your head to write a novel out of it. You pen it as a 'dramatic parody', even though you all know it's no parody, spend years writing the first episode, which comes out at a titanic 800 pages (or there abouts), then you start on the second episode, which is unlikely to be any shorter. You get a huge number of your fellow geeks involved. Some try to make an audio drama out of the first few chapters, whilst others set up your story's own 'expanded universe' and Wiki. Meanwhile, someone else has been kind enough to draw pictures of your characters for you...
And oh boy, do the pictures ever speak a thousand words each...
This is the captain of the lead Star Trek ship in the story...
Marc Xavier - TFC Galactopedia
..., called the USS Felix, which for some unfathomable reason was given a regestry number in the 2000s, even though the story is set around the time of the Dominion War (which does not take place in this version of events). If his full name, Marcúsco Shamus Xavier II, doesn't strike terror into your heart, note well that he attained to rank of captain at the age of less than 30 and was immediately given command of Starfleet's newest and most powerful vessel (the aforementioned Felix), which is fully kitted out with Warp 29 transwarp drive. He's also got a beautifal girl on his arm, the ship's counsellor (of course), and is, get this, force sensative! I really wish I were making all this up, but I'm not...
This is the ship's technical engineer (the ship has two chief engineers, and I still can't for the life of me figure out why), Lanna Tigris (a blatant B'ellana Torres ripoff if ever I saw one, Tigris is even half Klingon!)...
Image:Lanna02 800.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
...who in one scene (yes, I did read a fair bit of the first episode, actually) is interrogated in a highly suggestive (though fortuneately still worksafe) manner at the hands of a clearly horny Sith and his hornier girlfriend, pictured here... I really, really wish I were making this up...
Image:Bad2.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
Another crewfur (yes, they actually refer to the crews of ships in this as being 'crewfurs'!) stationed on the Felix is Cyber Hare, a rabbit who was so badly injured as a child that they had to implant her with artifical components. So, she's Cyber Hare the cyborg... Hmm... I'm sure they were up all night thinking up that one... not...
She is pictued here, complete with 'retro' uniform, stupid expression and pretentious phaser aiming on the part of captain Xavier... "Red alert! Aim your phasers as pretentiously as possible, crewfurs!"
Image:Pierce marc cyber.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
Oh, and here's 'Grand Moggy Tarkin" (I really wish I were making this up!!!) arguing with the generic pompus bastard (think captain Jellico or admiral Nechayev) on the Trek side. 'Cyber Hare' is there too for some reason...
Image:Tarkin cyber weiss.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
Just a couple more pictures to wrap things up. First, a look at what Vulcans in this story look like...
Image:Batgirl2.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
Oh the drama! Oh the action! Oh the agony!
Image:Deano perdia.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
I don't know what the blue guy's being so smug about... Maybe he wears being laughed at as a badge of honor...
Image:Cal brett steve.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
Oh, by the way, heeeeere's Yoda! He's now the evil emperor... and covered in fur... I so wish I were making this up... but sadly... it's true too...
Image:Evilyoda2.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
I'll leave at that. What do you think? Personally?
Ok, one day, you're role-playing a Star Trek/Star Wars crossover with a bunch of your friends on the Internet and get it into your head to write a novel out of it. You pen it as a 'dramatic parody', even though you all know it's no parody, spend years writing the first episode, which comes out at a titanic 800 pages (or there abouts), then you start on the second episode, which is unlikely to be any shorter. You get a huge number of your fellow geeks involved. Some try to make an audio drama out of the first few chapters, whilst others set up your story's own 'expanded universe' and Wiki. Meanwhile, someone else has been kind enough to draw pictures of your characters for you...
And oh boy, do the pictures ever speak a thousand words each...
This is the captain of the lead Star Trek ship in the story...
Marc Xavier - TFC Galactopedia
..., called the USS Felix, which for some unfathomable reason was given a regestry number in the 2000s, even though the story is set around the time of the Dominion War (which does not take place in this version of events). If his full name, Marcúsco Shamus Xavier II, doesn't strike terror into your heart, note well that he attained to rank of captain at the age of less than 30 and was immediately given command of Starfleet's newest and most powerful vessel (the aforementioned Felix), which is fully kitted out with Warp 29 transwarp drive. He's also got a beautifal girl on his arm, the ship's counsellor (of course), and is, get this, force sensative! I really wish I were making all this up, but I'm not...
This is the ship's technical engineer (the ship has two chief engineers, and I still can't for the life of me figure out why), Lanna Tigris (a blatant B'ellana Torres ripoff if ever I saw one, Tigris is even half Klingon!)...
Image:Lanna02 800.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
...who in one scene (yes, I did read a fair bit of the first episode, actually) is interrogated in a highly suggestive (though fortuneately still worksafe) manner at the hands of a clearly horny Sith and his hornier girlfriend, pictured here... I really, really wish I were making this up...
Image:Bad2.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
Another crewfur (yes, they actually refer to the crews of ships in this as being 'crewfurs'!) stationed on the Felix is Cyber Hare, a rabbit who was so badly injured as a child that they had to implant her with artifical components. So, she's Cyber Hare the cyborg... Hmm... I'm sure they were up all night thinking up that one... not...
She is pictued here, complete with 'retro' uniform, stupid expression and pretentious phaser aiming on the part of captain Xavier... "Red alert! Aim your phasers as pretentiously as possible, crewfurs!"Image:Pierce marc cyber.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
Oh, and here's 'Grand Moggy Tarkin" (I really wish I were making this up!!!) arguing with the generic pompus bastard (think captain Jellico or admiral Nechayev) on the Trek side. 'Cyber Hare' is there too for some reason...
Image:Tarkin cyber weiss.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
Just a couple more pictures to wrap things up. First, a look at what Vulcans in this story look like...
Image:Batgirl2.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
Oh the drama! Oh the action! Oh the agony!
Image:Deano perdia.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
I don't know what the blue guy's being so smug about... Maybe he wears being laughed at as a badge of honor...
Image:Cal brett steve.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
Oh, by the way, heeeeere's Yoda! He's now the evil emperor... and covered in fur... I so wish I were making this up... but sadly... it's true too...
Image:Evilyoda2.jpg - TFC Galactopedia
I'll leave at that. What do you think? Personally?
posted on February 22nd, 2008, 10:08 pm
posted on February 23rd, 2008, 6:06 am
To get the links to go, simply go to storyline link... and click away 
posted on February 23rd, 2008, 9:51 am
Alright, they should work now... 
posted on February 23rd, 2008, 2:11 pm
posted on February 23rd, 2008, 5:14 pm
It is certainly.... ummm... what Mortographer said 
posted on February 23rd, 2008, 8:23 pm
posted on February 23rd, 2008, 10:34 pm
Last edited by Triarii on February 23rd, 2008, 10:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Miss bugs bunny in star fleet? I am sheer if she is sucraty a engineer or in sinects. I guess that would be ensign bunny? Some one needs to lay off the cheasy crack.
She's actually Lieutenant Commander Hare (I know way too much about this shit
), and according to her Galactopedia article...Cyber Hare - TFC Galactopedia
...she apparently serves virtually the same role that Data did on the Enterprise-D (that being second officer and science officer). Apparantly she's also a worse pilot than even Troi, which is almost interesting...
Speaking of the Enterprise-D, now, whilst the TFC crew are extremely loathe to make use of canon characters in this thing (which seems odd considering their blatant use of Yoda as the Evil Emperor, which I think we can all agree maks no fucking sense), they do make refences in thier offical timeline...
Anno Domini Earth Calendar - TFC Galactopedia
...to the Enterprise-D and two of its other incarnations (C and E), Voyager (which is actually thrown into another galaxy in this version of events), Terok Nor (DS9), the Defiant and even specifically to Spock...
This means that, theoretically at least, all of the canon characters should exist somewhere within the TFC universe... that means we have to try and imagine the crews we've all come to know and love as furries...
In case you didn't quite catch the full impact of that, let me say it again...
...that means we have to try and imagine the crews we've all come to know and love as furries!!!
http://store.startrek.com/images/products/4/4135-25.jpg
http://www.animationalley.com/images/pr ... n_Crew.jpg
http://www.schaelchli.ch/upload_script/ ... ce_001.jpg
http://www.geocities.com/rittersonkeys/ ... age029.jpg
Oh God, no...
It may be a small consolation, for some, that at least Archer and the Enterprise crew escaped this crap. The TFC crew don't consider Enterprise to be included in their (incredibly screwed up) version of events, because Enterprise began airing well after TFC began being made...
And don't think this the end of the torture either... I've got a few more tricks up my slevee...
posted on February 24th, 2008, 12:29 pm
posted on February 26th, 2008, 12:54 am
i lol'd
posted on February 26th, 2008, 1:23 am
Last edited by Triarii on February 26th, 2008, 12:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
For anyone who hasn't already looked at it, you should really check out the audio drama... the level of nerdiness is just plain insane. So many of the voices sounds like nazily teenagers, and listening to the guy playing Khajja VonKlatt desperately trying to fake a Scottish accent (starting at 6:50) is just hilarious...
TrekWars: The Furry Conflict - Audio Drama
EDIT: What could be worse than a fake Scottish accent? Well, head for 8:00 and find out...
TrekWars: The Furry Conflict - Audio Drama
EDIT: What could be worse than a fake Scottish accent? Well, head for 8:00 and find out...
posted on February 26th, 2008, 5:03 pm
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