Read and LOL or ROLF

posted on February 23rd, 2010, 6:22 pm

I got this today from a pal .. so without further ado here it goes .. sorry if i posted in the wrong place.


+20° – Greeks put on sweaters (if they can find them).
+15° – Hawaiians turn on the heaters (if they have them).
+10° – Americans shake, Russians are planting cucumbers .
+ 5° – You can see your own breathing. Italian cars don’t start. Norwegians take a bath. Russians drive with lowered windows.
0° – Water freezes in America, in Russia it thickens.
- 5° – French cars don’t start.
-10° – You’re planning a vacation to Australia .
-15° – Your cat insists to sleep in your bed. Norwegians put on sweaters.
-18° – New York landlords turn on the heaters. Russians make their last seasonal picnic.
-20° – American cars don’t start. People in Alaska start wearing long-sleeves.
-25° – German cars don’t start. Hawaiians are dead.
-30° – Politicians start talking about homeless people. Your cat prefers to sleep in your pajamas.
-35° – Too cold to think. Japanese cars don’t start.
-40° – You’re planning a 2-week hot tub bath. Swedish cars don’t start.
-42° – Transportation stops in Europe . Russians eat ice cream on the street.
-45° – All Greeks are dead. Politicians really start doing something for the homeless.
-50° – Your eyelids start sticking when you blink. In Alaska , people close the window in the bathroom.
-60° – White bears start moving south.
-70° – The hell froze.
-73° – Finnish special services evacuate Santa Claus from Lapland . Russians wear earmuff hats.
-80° – Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-114° – Ethyl alcohol is freezing. Russians are unhappy.
-273° – Absolute zero, atomic movement stops. Russians wear boots.
-295° – 90% of the planet is dead. Russian soccer team becomes the world champion.

posted on February 23rd, 2010, 6:32 pm

funny, and posted correctly i think.

posted on February 23rd, 2010, 6:34 pm

have tons more .. just need to translate them

posted on February 23rd, 2010, 6:38 pm

from which country did this originate?

posted on February 23rd, 2010, 6:51 pm

you forgot the point at witch your snot freezes its around -10 degrees F.

[Dexter]

posted on February 23rd, 2010, 7:02 pm

Last edited by Dexter on February 23rd, 2010, 7:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bentley : I used the ashtray today, i wish to change it.
Lamborghini : Huge problem, there is a shissing sound at 320km/h
Toyota : Is your car running with AA or AAA batteries ?
Ferrari : I crossed a train track, damage to the lower part of the car is 20.000$.
VW : I had a defect,i still had diesel, but i ran out of oil.
Smart : A blonde babe went over my car with a Jeep.
Jeep : A smart  got blocked between my motor and shield (pictures).
Ford : Does anyone knows a good mechanic ?
Renault: I still have a moth of psychiatric treatment left, i'm getting used to the crickets.
Cadillac : do you have space in your garage to open the doors ?
Honda : i stole the carkeeys of gramps ... how do i start it ?
Audi : Oh! How much i do love my car !
Mercedes : From where do i buy cheaper mirrors ?
Porsche : I also have problems with coffee from the acceleration.
Fiat : Hey, noone else is here
Hummer : I'm looking for services closer than 10km, 'cause the way cost's me a million bucks.
Citroen : My vocal command console and holographic display are defective.
BMW : I removed the drum yet still i can't  wake the whole neighborhood.
McLaren : A pal with an F16 suggested a race.
Skoda : I found another identical piece with the Audi in the motor.
Subaru : I'm buying tires.
Land Rover : Carmeething tomorrow on the Himalaya.
Volvo : Petition for the new NCAP test with  10 stars.
Dacia : I changed everything and it still does not start !

A guy waits in his Maybach, the lights turn green, when suddenly, without him noticing it a Matiz rams his rear. The driver of the Maybach, only slightly shaken looks on his onboard display of his computer, when suddenly a new message appears :“New hardware found!” “Do you want to install it now?”

Enjoy your cars .. gents

posted on February 23rd, 2010, 7:17 pm

Sweet!

posted on February 23rd, 2010, 7:46 pm

So cool! 

posted on February 23rd, 2010, 8:11 pm

Yay...I have a Vauxhall so I'm okay! 

posted on February 23rd, 2010, 11:14 pm

Veeeery nice   

posted on February 23rd, 2010, 11:38 pm

I have to tell that the "shissing sound" starts at 280 Km/h. And It stops at 300. Actually, it's the sound of motion radar having a nervous breakdown trying to follow the car and failing to read my plaque.

posted on February 23rd, 2010, 11:59 pm

That's cuz your teeth are spattered into the wall - oh wait, you meant that type of plaque