I'm serious! This isn't a screamer or some crappy You Tube video... it's... well... let me tell you the whole story... Some of you guys, being Trek fans, may have already seen this, but for those of you who haven't, picture the scene if you will...
Ok, one day, you're role-playing a Star Trek/Star Wars crossover with a bunch of your friends on the Internet and get it into your head to write a novel out of it. You pen it as a 'dramatic parody', even though you all know it's no parody, spend years writing the first episode, which comes out at a titanic 800 pages (or there abouts), then you start on the second episode, which is unlikely to be any shorter. You get a huge number of your fellow geeks involved. Some try to make an audio drama out of the first few chapters, whilst others set up your story's own 'expanded universe' and Wiki. Meanwhile, someone else has been kind enough to draw pictures of your characters for you...
And oh boy, do the pictures ever speak a thousand words each...
This is the captain of the lead Star Trek ship in the story...
Marc Xavier - TFC Galactopedia..., called the USS Felix, which for some unfathomable reason was given a regestry number in the 2000s, even though the story is set around the time of the Dominion War (which does not take place in this version of events). If his full name, Marcúsco Shamus Xavier II, doesn't strike terror into your heart, note well that he attained to rank of captain at the age of less than 30 and was immediately given command of Starfleet's newest and most powerful vessel (the aforementioned Felix), which is fully kitted out with Warp 29 transwarp drive. He's also got a beautifal girl on his arm, the ship's counsellor (of course), and is, get this,
force sensative! I really wish I were making all this up, but I'm not...
This is the ship's technical engineer (the ship has two chief engineers, and I still can't for the life of me figure out why), Lanna Tigris (a blatant B'ellana Torres ripoff if ever I saw one, Tigris is even half Klingon!)...
Image:Lanna02 800.jpg - TFC Galactopedia...who in one scene (yes, I did read a fair bit of the first episode, actually) is interrogated in a highly suggestive (though fortuneately still worksafe) manner at the hands of a clearly horny Sith and his hornier girlfriend, pictured here... I really,
really wish I were making this up...
Image:Bad2.jpg - TFC GalactopediaAnother crewfur (yes, they
actually refer to the crews of ships in this as being
'crewfurs'!) stationed on the Felix is Cyber Hare, a rabbit who was so badly injured as a child that they had to implant her with artifical components. So, she's Cyber Hare the cyborg... Hmm... I'm sure they were up all night thinking up that one... not...
She is pictued here, complete with 'retro' uniform, stupid expression and pretentious phaser aiming on the part of captain Xavier... "Red alert! Aim your phasers as pretentiously as possible, crewfurs!"
Image:Pierce marc cyber.jpg - TFC GalactopediaOh, and here's 'Grand Moggy Tarkin" (
I really wish I were making this up!!!) arguing with the generic pompus bastard (think captain Jellico or admiral Nechayev) on the Trek side. 'Cyber Hare' is there too for some reason...
Image:Tarkin cyber weiss.jpg - TFC GalactopediaJust a couple more pictures to wrap things up. First, a look at what Vulcans in this story look like...
Image:Batgirl2.jpg - TFC GalactopediaOh the drama! Oh the action! Oh the agony!
Image:Deano perdia.jpg - TFC GalactopediaI don't know what the blue guy's being so smug about... Maybe he wears being laughed at as a badge of honor...
Image:Cal brett steve.jpg - TFC GalactopediaOh, by the way, heeeeere's Yoda! He's now the evil emperor... and covered in fur... I so wish I were making this up... but sadly... it's true too...
Image:Evilyoda2.jpg - TFC GalactopediaI'll leave at that. What do you think? Personally?
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