Star Trek Armada II: Fleet Operations

Ok guys, you*points*, are going to be my focus group :thumbsup:
I am writing a movie script to try and get sold (I fancy a new Lamborghini ;)) and im looking for input
This is an action/chase flick
Premise
A rich ex marine is at a hunting lease.  he has been having trouble with his marrige and has a new girlfriend. All of a sudden, people start shooting at him.  He locates his attackers and kills them.  He manages to escape the hunting lease (Surounded with bad guys), grabs his girlfriend (in a small town nearby) and escapes the town in his car.  his car is pretty shot up so when they reach the nearest large town(i think it will be San Antonio) and he buys a lamborghini LP640 ("we need something fast") During this cross country flight he gets chased by a helicopter, 3 BMW m5's, and various other things.  hes stops by his house to grap some things about 3/4 through the movie.  his wife is not home(yes he is married and has a girlfriend).  he notices some bills on the kitchen counter presumably the maid brought them in.  The are from BMW, Bell, and various gun stores(all the things he was chased with).  This is the turning point, he realises who is trying to kill him.  they set off to find his wife who is staying in L.A. California and kill her(he doesn't really like her).  He corners her after a chase, in the grand canyon.  this is my favorite scene,  the final shot he is about to shoot his wife near the edge of a cliff and from behind the cliff face a helicopter pops up with who else but his girlriend in it holding a rifle.  cut to slow motion and he is stunned for a moment but reacts and tries to bring up the gun.  she bring up hers faster and kills him. final sene we see the girlfriend and wife talking and money being exchanged.
FIN

 of course this will have gut wrenching emotional dialouge throughout.

well?

Evil wins? Sounds a fairly decent idea.

well the marine was evil in a way- he had a girlfriend and a wife(plus he will do some bad things to people to get info
there is no clear cut good guy here

like the movie payback? the lesser evil/s triumphs?

no, more like the greater

Sounds like a pretty good rough draft.

But a marine?

How about something more exotic, like an ex-bounty hunter or something.

how old are you
8?
a marine is perfect.  it gives him the background to do all the cool stuff like shoot someone with 1 arm on the rifle while running

The problem is that everyone else thinks so as well.  It's not exactly original...

what movie r u talking about?
make a list and ill look at it
besides by the time a movie is made everyone will forget about the original ideas

I believe that the movie Shooter that just came out uses a similar pretense, and I'm sure if I did a wiki search on it I'd come up with a whole list.

Not that I'm going to, though.


Oh, and I personally don't have a problem with it; it's just that the more original it is, the more likely it is to be bought.

right.. by the time this movie would come out shooter will be at least 2 years old
IF the studio doesnt put it on the shelf for a couple years

how about ex-GSG9 or SAS? those guys are way better than marines.

Beacuse its an AMERICAN. not british or whatever a GSG9 is

stay on topic plz

we are we are discussing ways to improve my story
i dont think that a british guy will connect very well to an american audience.
the only movies EVER to manage that are either very old or a series thats old (james bond)

actually a British guys do great in that type of movie with capturing an audience....  For example: Shawn of the dead and hot fuzz  :D

Heheh, Shawn of the Dead was awesome.  Highlight of my Halloween season.

those are what?
COMIDIES
you know- :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

So... :blink: 

You can have a action comedy.  :thumbsup:

im going for emotional/action/drama
no funny bits

What a drag.... :x

your so unsofisticated :blink:
(meant to misspell it)

I think that even a pure action movie can have SOME funny parts to it...

did shooter?
no it was all parts being blown off of bodys
(can you belive that guys arm got taken off with 1 shot!?
what was he using a .50 Cal?

I actually never saw Shooter.

Heard it was just more of the same...

it was actually really good.
had a good story line and all.
come to think of it did did have 1 funny part.  right at the end the big bad guy went-"I AM A UNITED STATES SENATOR!"  then he gets shot
I swear EVERYONE in the theatre went "was" at the same time

Haha, I love audience reactions.  When I saw SW episode 3, Yoda got a standing ovation when he took out the clones on Kashyyyk.

lol.  when i saw The Island,  people started cheering at the sex scene with Scarlotte Johanason.  WOW she is HOT *HOT bursts into flames*

i think for any movie to seem realistic there has to be at least a little comedy in there somewhere. even if it's just 4 somewhat funny lines spread throughout the movie.

OK that may be true but im not making him british >:(.  he is american.  work with it :p

He should be Mexican.  :P